Victims Like Her
by cheertennis12
Summary: Huang could read a complete stranger like a book, let alone a friend of more than a decade. The last thing she wanted was a casual catch-up to turn into a discussion of the last year, & she had spent their time on this case together avoiding him out of that fear. He had dedicated his life to the psychoanalysis of these perpetrators and victims. Victims like her. [THOUGHT CRIMINAL]


**If you're like me, you were super upset at the lack of an Olivia/Huang heart to heart in Thought Criminal! Thank God for fanfiction - this is what i WISH we could have seen in last night's episode.**

**ONE SHOT, reviews appreciated! **

* * *

Olivia leaned back in her chair and let out an exasperated sigh as she shuffled through the pile of paperwork on her desk. She knew Simon Wilkes was guilty, yet the tangible evidence was not there. Her frustration was building. She wanted to nail this guy more than anything. She had cautioned her partner to let it go that afternoon, yet she was struggling to take her own advice.

A hand on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts. She instantly went on full alert, nearly jumping out of her chair. Although Lewis was gone, his presence was still very evident in the day to day subtle parts of her life. She whirled around to find George Huang standing behind her.

"Hey stranger!" She tried to cover up the reaction that was uncharacteristic of the former Olivia Benson he had once known with a forced smile. "I thought you were flying back home this afternoon?"

"My flight was cancelled. They placed me on the red eye but I have a couple hours to spare. I though I might find you here."

"You know me too well, George." She shook her head.

"I was just on my way to get some dinner and wanted to see if you would join me?"

Olivia hesitated. Huang could read a complete stranger like a book, let alone a friend and coworker of more than a decade. The last thing she wanted tonight was a casual catch-up to turn into a discussion of the last year and her current state. Huang tended to have that effect on her, and to tell the truth, she had spent the time working on this case together avoiding any solo interaction with him out of that fear. He had dedicated his life to the psychoanalysis of these perpetrators and victims. Victims like her.

_Did he know?_

As exhausted as she was, and as badly as she wanted to just go home and curl up on the couch with a bottle of wine and last week's episode of Modern Family, still anything sounded better than going home to an empty apartment once again. She tidied up her desk, grabbed her coat and followed her former coworker out the door.

* * *

"So tell me what's been going on with you? How is Oklahoma?" Olivia started, intentionally trying to keep the conversation light.

"Same as I've told you before. It's fun for a gay, single Chinese-American. It's still no New York though." Huang answered.

"Still single, huh?" Liv chuckled at his response.

"Of course. How about yourself?"

Olivia silently cursed herself for leading this conversation down a deeper path. "I was seeing an old coworker for about two years. Brian Cassidy, did you ever meet him? That ended pretty recently. It's okay, though. We're on good terms."

"The name is familiar, but I believe he left SVU right before I came. Most people don't last very long in your line of work. I'm always surprised that you and Fin have stayed here this long."

"What else would I do, George?" Olivia rolled her eyes jokingly.

"Where is everyone else? How is Elliott doing these days?"

Olivia instantly stiffened. "We didn't really keep in touch after he left SVU." To her relief, Huang allowed that subject to drop. Elliott was the last thing she let herself muse over nowadays.

"What about the Captain and Munch? Where are they now?" He asked.

"Munch retired back in the fall. He's been working at the DA's office, so we run into him sometimes. He'll stop by and visit on occasion. And Cragen left January. He has himself a new woman, he took off to travel with her, but he seems happy. He'll send a postcard once in awhile. We miss them a lot around here."

"How are Amaro and Rollins fitting in? " Huang asked.

"Nick reminds me a lot of Elliott; he's short tempered." Olivia cursed herself a second time for mentioning his name, but Huang didn't react. "He has a lot of stuff going on. He shot an unarmed kid right before Cragen left; It was an accident but it still hit him pretty hard. I took over as acting commanding officer right after that. Amanda had her own downward spiral this spring, but she seems to be doing better. It's hard to be a friend and a disciplinarian at the same time though, and that's complicated my relationship with them both. It's starting to get a little better now that Murphy has taken over that role and I am back to being their friend."

"It sounds like your squad has been going through a lot of changes," Huang interpreted.

"Yeah, it's been a really tough year for us all. Munch and Cragen leaving, Nick and Amanda's issues, Murphy coming in and shaking this place up..."

"... and you?" Huang gently prodded.

Olivia's stomach lurched. Was he about to go where she had been dreading?

"I was in New York on assignment for a few weeks last spring... I watched the news."

"Yeah..." Olivia trailed off, diverting her eyes down to the table. She traced circles with her thumbs in the condensation on her glass.

"How are you doing, Olivia?"

She let out a deep breath. There was no avoiding this. "I was a mess at first. The flashbacks, the nightmares, the standard PTSD. Then having to go through the trial and relive every little detail and talk about it all in open court. But after that, I was doing really well for awhile."

"You say this in past tense. Did something else happen?"

She froze. So George may not know as much as she had thought, but she had already swung this door wide open.

"About a month ago. He went to jail after the trial and I thought it was over. I started to get my life back; I'd taken over SVU after Cragen left and things were going pretty well. Then he escaped and kidnapped a twelve year old girl, but it was all just a game to get to me... he knew how to get to me. That was when Murphy took over command, and I went after Lewis to save Amelia."

Olivia finally looked up and met his gaze, her voice shaking and tears filling her eyes. She prayed that Huang was oblivious to her humiliating television appearance, and intentionally passed over that information. Huang nodded at her, silently encouraging her to continue.

"He shot himself, right in front of me. He made me play Russian Roulette, and the last bullet should have been mine. I had given up. I thought he was going to kill me... instead, he turned the gun on himself, but not without setting it up to look like I had pulled the trigger. I did the IAB song and dance, went through a grand jury, almost lost my shield and pension. Murphy saved my job." Olivia could feel her hands trembling.

"Olivia, I know this had to be a terrifying experience for you, and I am glad you are safe now. I am so sorry it happened. I'm not going to ask your reasons for choosing to stay at SVU after being a rape victim yourself..."

"I am not a rape victim. He did not rape me." Olivia interjected with a statement so firm it startled both herself and the man in front of her.

"But you have still gone through something terrible, and you will still go through the same stages of recovery that you walk people through, Liv. And one day, you will find yourself again, and you will be that much more equipped to help other people find themselves too. There's no question that this will make you a different person, but now you get to choose what kind of person you want this experience to mold you into."

He reached out to grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze of understanding that reached beyond words. Olivia mulled over his advice and slowly nodded, letting his words sink in. She realized he was right. She would never recover the old Olivia Benson, but she now had the option of who she wanted to become. She felt the first genuine smile she could remember offering in a long time spread across her face. In that moment, for the first time, she had an overwhelming feeling that everything was going to be okay.

"So, Cragen really had to go all the way to the other side of the world to get away from you all?" Huang asked

Olivia laughed. She knew it was finally going to be okay.


End file.
